I witnessed my mom live a life of sacrifices. I looked all around me and saw women no longer living for themselves. I was so afraid of this unknown territory. A place where I would no longer be my main concern, constantly sacrificing things that I loved. A world where all of my resources, energy, time and focus would no longer belong to me. Nothing seemed guaranteed on this journey. No clear-cut plan that would work. And here I was, thrown into it all.
This new world is so strange. The life I was accustomed to is becoming a thing of the past. This new love I feel is so heavy, a weight I don’t even know how to carry. A world where my vulnerability has left me completely open and at the mercy of my faith. I’m losing myself faster than I could possibly imagine.
The old me is getting harder and harder to hold onto. I can no longer deny her. She moulded me, brought me exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m unapologetically proud of her. I acknowledge her importance and I’m incredibly grateful for her. But it’s time to leave her where she belongs. In the past. The beautiful thing is, when I started to let her go… when I realized I didn’t need her anymore, I discovered a new me.
I’m still getting to know her. She’s not perfect… and she has no desire to be. She doesn’t have all of the answers but she doesn’t need them. She’s embracing the uncertainties in her journey. Tapping into her intuition. Clenching tight to the simple truth. The truth her soul knows to be true and letting it lead the way.
She realized it wasn’t the unknown that was filling her with fear. It was letting go of the known. Her worries and her uncertainties end where her faith begins.
Here’s some behind the scenes from out shoot: